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Updating Symbian Devices is Easy!
[23:12:47] matt [wronka.org]/Trip I got my E8 updated. Apparently, it's a rather easy process:

a) Find somebody who works for Nokia.
b) Drive to their office.
c) Ask them nicely to flash your phone.

Apparently the Ovi suite didn't like my phone, nor did it there. The Nokite had to resort to stronger measures.